SpongeBob Writes an Essay
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)
YouTube captions are often inaccurate. The transcript below is verified for accuracy.
Characters
Mrs. Puff
Patrick
SpongeBob
Transcript
[Mrs. Puff]
Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight.
[SpongeBob]
Did you hear that? What not to do at a stoplight!
[Mrs. Puff]
Due tomorrow. And remember, class, work hard and no goofing off.
[SpongeBob]
Okay, Gary. No goofing off. I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Even more important than the paper is the pencil. Okay, here we go.
[Patrick]
Come on, Spongebob.
[SpongeBob]
Come on, pencil. Make words. Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How about you let old SpongeBob fix you up something to eat? I gotta make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving until you eat every single bite. Why that didn't take too long... It's only 10 o'clock! Okay, Mr. Essay. I say, prepare to be written. I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! And some of these! And some of these! Almost there and... Done. Now let's see how it looks so far. The... Break time! Now let's see. White or rye bread? Or pumpernickel? Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside and the cheese. A visitor? For me? Hello.
[Mailman]
Package for Mr. SquarePants.
[SpongeBob]
Great! Thanks! So, uh, you like delivering mail?
[Mailman]
It puts bread on the table. Rye or pumper nickel? Oh brother.
[SpongeBob]
So do you deliver your own mail or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers his mail? Is there never any chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain—
[Mailman]
Don't you have a paper to write?
[SpongeBob]
How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay?
[Fish News Reporter]
In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay, and yet he continues to goof off. When will he learn?
[SpongeBob]
Oh no! Midnight! That was a close call. Ah! My pants!
[Pants]
Down here!
[SpongeBob]
You get up here! I gotta get back to work!
[Pants]
Freedom!
[SpongeBob]
Stop, pants! You get back here this instant! Pants!
[Clock]
Times up, SpongeBob.
[Flame]
Only seven hundred and ninety-nine words to go.
[SpongeBob]
No! Ah! What have I done?
[House]
Why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob? Why didn't you just write your essay? Stop wasting time!
[SpongeBob]
Oh! It's almost 9 o'clock! Class starts in five minutes! How am I gonna write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? Feeding your snail is something not to do with a stoplight. And making a sandwich and-and lighting candles and drinking water and calling your friends and karate chopping the TV and shooting the breeze with the mailman and falling asleep and— Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Hey, Mrs. Puff! Where is everybody?
[Mrs. Puff]
Oh, there you are, SpongeBob.
[SpongeBob]
Here you go, Mrs. Puff. 800 words. All about stoplights and what not to do at them.
[Mrs. Puff]
I'm sorry, Spongebob. I tried to call you. I have to go to a teacher's convention.
[SpongeBob]
But what about my essay?
[Mrs. Puff]
I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week.
Clip Context
SpongeBob gets distracted while writing an essay.
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Vocabulary
Read each word out loud.
close call
/ˈkloʊs ˈkɔl/
noun phrase
a situation where someone barely avoids an accident, disaster, or something unpleasant; a narrow escape
Example:
I had a close call when I almost got hit by a car while crossing the street.
stoplight
/ˈstɑbˌlaɪt/
noun
a traffic signal that tells drivers when to stop or go by displaying different colors (such as red, yellow, and green)
Example:
Every stoplight on my way to work was red, so I'm a few minutes late.
it puts bread on the table
/ɪt ˈpʊts ˈbrɛd ɑn ðə ˈtæbəl/
idiom
a job that provides enough money to support oneself and one's family
Example:
I don't love my job, but it puts bread on the table.
goof off
/ɡuːf ɔːf/
phrasal verb
(informal) to waste time by not doing what you are supposed to do
Example:
Instead of doing his homework, Jason spent the whole afternoon goofing off on his phone.
due
/dʒʉː/
adjective
the time or date when something must be finished or turned in
Example:
The essay is due on Friday, so please finish it by then.
essay
/ˈɛˌseɪ/
noun
short written work that shows someone's opinions, beliefs, or knowledge about a specific subject
Example:
I spent all night working on my essay about climate change for science class.
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Lesson updated:
December 29, 2025
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